What companies are selling for Pride month

By the writers of the Pitiful News (Formerly the Pittifulgbt News)

  • Acceptance: $5.99 a month!
  • Rights: $10.99 a month! 
  • Mario Kart but only rainbow road for DSi: $16.89 
  • Rainbow themed Kamala Harris campaign stickers: $0.99 + shipping
  • Rainbow colored miralax. $16.50 a scoop
  • Classic lesbian Subaru: $23,000, only $1400 down!
    • I thought it was american
  • Country Crock lubricant: $.30 
  • Gay shirt for gay people: $12
  • A brand new weiner dog: $150 not including rainbow colored crate 
  • Diapers for all that gay sex: $12.50 a pack
    • I know nothing about gay sex 
  • Rainbirkencrocs. $130.00. 
  • My lesbian wardrobe. 10 bucks. 
  • Pete Buttigieg 2024 posters: Free with your vote!
  • The confirmation of new Lorde music in 2021: $0.00
  • Chromatica oreo flavored vodka $99 (as in “there could be 100 people in a room and 99 of them don’t believe in you—”)
  • Goodwill+ Membership: $4.99 per month
  • T-shirts with Tyler Oakley’s face on them. 50% off for those of us that were victims of his nature box ads.
  • The Amazing Book is Not on Fire: $50.00 hard, $40.00 soft
  • Markiplier coming out video. No ads.
  • Mr. Beast coming out. 2 ads at the beginning and one sponsorship.
  • Pride candles in random assorted fruity scents. $16.99. 
  • Fruity Pebbles: $2.59 
  • A never before released version of Star Wars where Poe and Finn kiss. Cost: having to watch all of the queerbaiting in the original one. 
  • New Twenty One Pilots album: more than it should be
  • Rainbow Swastikas made out of the L’s from LGBT: 50 Billion dollars
    • I’m looking at you, Musk
  • Chanel No.1-866-488-7386: Free
  • Rainbow MAGA hat: $20.24
  • Another movie about 1800s depressed lesbians on a rocky island that like to paint. Cost: The age gap between the romantic leads is 35 years. 
  • Ryan Murphy’s retirement. Cost: He will only stop after we let him make his reboot of Glee ft. Lea Michelle.
  • A new streamlined fanfiction service where you can view stories from all of the websites and put them into one library: priceless 
  • Representation: $14,000 in Disney stock options
  • RuPaul Fracking Empire: $13.7 million
    • RuPaul fracks! #yas #slay
  • The Most Unexpected Revelation From RuPaul's Recent NPR Interview? He Might  Be Fracking – Texas Monthlyrupaulfracking hashtag on TwitterTypes of Burns: RuPaul is Fracking by Kyle Carrero Lopez | Frontier Poetry  - Exploring the Edges of Contemporary Poetry 
  •  ^ this image: 15 brajillion dollars
  • Pride pods (pride themed Tide Pods): $15.99
    • Looks more like candy
    • Might eat
  • Pride flag Laptop Stickers: $2.50 for 10-pack

One thought on “What companies are selling for Pride month

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s