Pittiful Advice: I’m sad.

Hi sad, I’m dad.

But, in all seriousness, I’ll tell you my tried and true method of unsadifying myself. I smear myself entirely in peanut butter and roll in a pile of acorns. Then I get on a bus and go far, far away. People may stare, but that’s okay. Ignore them. When you get to the end of the bus line, find the nearest tree. Climb the tree. Feel the wind between the acorns. Make squirrel noises, and an army of squirrels will be at your beck and call. Let them carry you away on their furry backs to their squirrely kingdom, where there is no more pain, and no more sadness.

Need help with a major life decision? Confused on how best to respond to that risky text? Write to our advice column at https://forms.gle/92Z8tgZvDnrE9go66

We ~might~ be able to ~guide~ you in the ~right~ direction!