By the Writers of the Pitiful News (Formerly the Pittttttttttttttttttttiful newwwwwwwwwwwwwwwws)
- Sukkot (Jewish Tent Day)
- Singing Taylor Swift’s “Red” to Celebrate Fall Day
- Career day for Engineers
- A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood
- Kyrgyz Independence Day
- Trent’s Birthday
- Local Pickle Day
- International “Let’s Kill Tyler” Day
- No… wait…. don’t ki
- A lot of people’s first exams
- October Fool’s Day
- Turkmen Independence Day
- Time To Eat Candy Corn
- Pennsylvania wet and unsatisfying high-five day
- It’s October 3rd (Mean Girls Day)
- That’s so fetch
- Mesothelioma Awareness Day
- Have you or a loved one been affected?
- National Novel Writing Day, when you write a novel
- Uzbek Independence Day
- National Pitt Homecoming Day
- Holiday When You Wear Crocs
- National Chocolate Milk Day
- Punxsutawney Phil’s Last Day
- The 5th of November
- National Daughters Day
- Tajik Independence Day
- Halloween >:)
- National Sex Offender Day (National Strawberry Milk Day)
- National Ben Stiller parasocial relationship day
- He was so good in Night at the Museum though
- National dress up as the Branch Davidians and reenact Waco day
- Not April 25th “The Perfect Date” Day
- Shemini Atzeret (Jewish Rain Dance Day)
- Holiday Where You Convert Someone to Veganism Day
- National Attend Your Grandchild’s Birthday Day
- National Atheists Going Up to Random People and Inviting Them to a Repentance Circle Day
- Ask a Stupid Question Day
- What’s that?
- National “Tell Sonya You Think She’s Funny” Day
- <3 -Sonya
- You suck – The LORD
- Kazakh Independence Day
- International Raccoon Appreciation Day
The Pitiful News 