By: David Kinzlmaier
Have you ever felt unsafe in your own home? Have you ever felt unsafe walking back home late at night? Well no longer! Hi, Jerry Harper here with a product just for you! Introducing, “Bricks”, the easy, convenient home and personal defense system. And it’s easy to use! Simply pick up one of the 20 provided bricks, throw it at an attacker, and keep throwing until you run out! After one brick, they’ll come out with a bruise. After two bricks, they’ll have a pretty bad day. But there ain’t no way in hell they’ll be walking away from 20 bricks!
Our bricks have been engineered to be as aerodynamically sound and effective as possible! The optimal number of bricks needed to take down any person has been heavily researched, assuring that you only carry EXACTLY what you need to defend yourself!
Don’t take our word for it! Commissioner Brawnson commented on the use of our product, calling it an “obscene amount of force” and “the most barbaric act of self-defense I have seen in all my years on the force” If that doesn’t convince you, just listen to the reviews of our satisfied customers!
“I was coming back from the club when I was jumped. Twenty bricks was EXACTLY how many bricks I needed to beat the guy into submission! Thanks Pile of 20 Bricks!”
So what are you waiting for? Buy Bricks today!
The Pitiful News 