#lust

Our Favorite Numbers in Pi

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By the Writers of the Pitiful News (Formerly the Pi-tiful news)

  • The decimal
  • 12
    • In memory of the 12 squirrels that rescued me from a tar pit in Jacksonville, Florida in 2009
  • Oh
  • 4
  • 3
    • The amount of nipples I have
  • 8
    • The amount of divorces I’ve had 
  • 45
    • For the amount of letters in my favorite word, pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis
  • 1-800-273-8255
    • You know like the logic song, it is so nice that he set that hotline up
  • 4, 2
    •  The second one
  • Tooth hurty
  • e
    • February 71st (April 11th or 12th depending on leap year)
    • Reason 2
  • For
  • 80085
    • hehehehehehehheheheheheheheh
  • 2009
    • See 12
  • The entire works of Shakespeare
  • Schmeventy schmeven
  • Pi
    • Pi is my favorite number in pi because it is all of it, much like how my father has been absent from my home all my life
  • 3
    • 3 is my favorite number in pi because it is the first digit, much like how my father was absent during the first critical years of my life
  • 69
    • Nice 
    • Also, somehow, the age of my father when he returned to my life only to leave me once again
  • Fore
  • √-1
    • As real as my father’s love for me
  • 6875309
  • 678, triple nine, 8212
  • 420
    • Nice
    • Blaze it! 
  •  011235813
    • The fibonacci sequence is a very memorable number, as the day my teacher was teaching us it I accidentally farted in front of my crush, Jenny.
  • 76 
    • The age I lost my virginity
      • To a 14 year old, hot I know ;)
  • 766
    • The number of unread emails my gmail has right now 
  •                      1
  •                   1    1
  •                1    2    1
  •             1    3    3    1
  •          1    4    6    4    1
  •       1    5   10  10    5   1 
  • P3N15
  • 011101110110010101100101011101110110010101100101
    • weewee in binary
  • Your mother’s phone number

Editor’s note: Attention all Fortnite gamers: John Wick is in great danger, and he needs your help to wipe all the squads in the Tilted Towers. But to do This, he needs a gold SCAR, and a couple of Chug Jugs. To help him, all he needs is the digits of Pi that match your credit card number, the three digits on the back, and the expiration month and year. But, you gotta be quick so that John Wick can secure the bag and achieve the EPIC… VICTORY… ROYALE

-The Lord