By Tyler, Sonya, Savannah, Abby
- Travel to Sweden to visit a cult, and then absolutely throw it down at their maypole dance, thus ensuring that I’m not the foreigner who’s sacrificed in the fire at the end of the week.
- Rewatch every installment within the Bill and Ted cinematic universe
- Get into Facebook arguments with old homophobic racists
- Get into Facebook arguments with old homophones.
- Bake a berry cobbler with all of the REAL berries – grapes, bananas, watermelons, tomatoes, cucumbers, deadly nightshade, eggplants, pumpkins, and chili peppers.
- Sit on the deck and eat tuna from a pouch
- Finally drink that bottle of bubble juice I’ve been saving for a special occasion!
- Ooh it has a little stirry thing in it. Time for mixing!
- Wait, why does it taste so soapy?
- Is bubble juice not the same as bubbly.
- I think I have made a mistake.
- Get fit, get LIT (and by which I mean don’t get lit, don’t light fireworks please for the love of God stop lighting the fireworks)
- IDK just do like Tuesday kinds of things.
- Acquire a lute, make it lose its tune, and then play it, badly, until my neighbors pay attention to me.
- Take a long nap on the couch, and wake up violently because I dream/hallucinate a three-inch scorpion about to sting me.
- Wait for the last light of durin’s day to enter the dwarf cave and cook me some dragon legs
- Sit in the driveway and stare at my neighbors like they always do to me
- Organize my sticky notes
- Conduct a ritual animal sacrifice of… a fruit fly I guess? (I don’t have any other animals) to honor the summer solstice.
- Ask my parents where my midsummer gifts are
- Make more cottagecore pillows
- Exercise. My rights. To bear arms. 🐻.
- Steal Sumarbrander from Frey, God of Nature and Stuff
- Fall in love with a girl named Maria, then need to run away with her as she is currently being shot at by the Russian mafia. We escape this country and move to the UK. We live in Big Ben, sure the sound is horrible and makes it hard to sleep, but it is a life. While there I fall in love with another woman named Maria, she is on the run from the gestapo, not to be confused with gazpacho, the first Maria’s favorite soup. So I leave the UK with the second Maria and move to Finland. This cycle goes on for three years, every summer solstice I find a new maria and run away to a new country.
- Party in the USA
- Celebrate my sister’s birthday :)
- Lose all sense of time and forget that it’s even midsummer
The Pitiful News 