#Goth

2020 Apocalypse Madness

pitifulnews Uncategorized , , , ,

by Tyler, Abby, Savannah, Sonya

realbracketappco

Here is our bracket for what the next apocalypse will be, we could not chose a winner between Catgirl Chipotle and Goth Girlfriends, While we work on making that decision through an article we plan to write next week, fill out this poll, we want to hear what you think the next apocalypse will be (pick your literal poison).

Here are the fully spelled out apocalypses:

  1. Catgirl Chipotle opening day turns into a series of violent riots among people who want to be among the first customers
  2. 2012 by Jay Sean (But it is the End Of the World and we can’t party)
  3. We finally find out what those are (the answer to “WHAT ARE THOOOSE?”)
  4. The Singularity hits but it’s just Earth’s hard reboot
  5. Tupac dies, for real this time, leading to a wormhole that sucks everyone in and sends them to different times, some get sent to May 6th 1937 and get to ride the LZ 129, an early version of the goodyear blimp, while others get sent to June 28th 1914.
  6. Another recall of romaine lettuce
  7. Extreme Black Friday
  8. A visit from the occupants of that weird UFO I’ve been seeing around?
  9. The government decides to burn all literature other than the Bee Movie script, Fahrenheit 451-style
    1. Jerry Seinfeld becomes all the world knows. Jerry becomes our god. We only know bees and terrible comedy.
  10. Homicidal Bees
  11. We all just turn into our parents
  12. X Æ A-12 (Kyle)  is actually Satan
    1. Kyle grows up to unleash their power on the world at some point in their life. They decide to destroy everything in their wake.
  13. No more bees :(
  14. 2 Corona 2 Virus
  15. Goth girlfriends releasing all of their energy at once
  16. Fidget spinners make a comeback