By Sarah Yule
When I decided to come to Pitt during the winter of my senior year, I had one factor that made the decision easy: Pittsburgh is 9 hours away from my hometown in rural New York, making it the furthest college on my list. So, after I got my acceptance, the choice was already made. I figured that by moving far out of my farmtown bubble, I would make some lasting memories and friends in a new and exciting city. Then, COVID happened, removing many aspects of a typical college experience. But still, my hopes were high when I pulled up to move-in day this August.
I met my roommate and we immediately became friends; I could not have been luckier in that respect. However, the social scene at Pitt is definitely leaving much to be desired at the moment, and I found myself feeling more homesick than I could have anticipated. And if you’re reading this, there’s a good chance you might be feeling the same way. And to you, I give you one piece of wisdom: people let you down. Buildings never will. Without further delay, I present: the emotional support building(ESB).
The ESB will serve as a little slice of paradise in the midst of whatever chaos your new environment brings. No matter how hectic or gloomy your day, you can count on your ESB because it is only a couple of blocks away. There, you can make yourself at home, and the longing for a move back to your cow town will disappear completely. There is one structure that is taken, however: the Forbes Ave Dunkin Donuts. I have dibs, and dibs are law. Let me share a bit about how my life has changed since establishing my very own ESB.
In the dark ages of mid-August, when I was still a Starbucks drinker, I felt the need to call my hometown friends on a daily basis. Now, with my very own Dunkin Donuts to call home, I no longer count down the days until I see them again. In fact, I’ve become something of an asshole; I cannot respond to a text to save my life now that I have a large iced pumpkin swirl with almond milk in each hand. I make my trip to the Forbes Ave Dunkin on most mornings before my earliest class, ordering on the mobile app prior to my arrival. And now, you may ask, “Sarah, why would you purposefully order online when lack of human interaction was what drew you to need an ESB in the first place?” And to that I say, once you’ve felt the love of a chain fast food joint, people only serve as disappointment. That is to say that the joy you gain from finding your own ESB comes not from the people within the structure, but from the structure itself. I may never speak to another person again.
As I sit here writing this from my seat in the dining area of my Emotional Support Building, I begin to wonder why I wasted the first 18 years of life interacting with non-building entities. You see, people lie, cheat, and commit heinous acts. Not buildings, though. Never buildings. If you need a sign, this is it: quit people, find your ESB today. You’ll never look back.