Pitt Students Ask for Hate Space

By Megan Klein

  

 Pitt Students Ask for Hate Space After Loving Speaker, Yilo Miannopoulos Preaches Equality.

Shouts of protest lauded the William Pitt Assembly room as Yilo Miannopolous, world renowned liberal “love-speaker”, preached messages of egalitarianism. Yilo is known for her work in Africa and the UN as an Equality-Ambassador. Pitt Police expected this event to be semi-chaotic, brought to campus by the student organization Freedom Unity Compassion Kindness Sympathy. This organization is known around campus for creating active and arousing campaigns to be better people.

“They don’t even support Trump,” crooned Ryan Campbell, a junior and avid Conservative activist. “I want to speak my opinion, which is we need to make America great again.” Ryan currently is working on Donald Trump’s campaign, and is an avid Neo-Nazi.

As the night heated up, more students became bothered by the discussion.

“I am outraged they brought this speaker to campus. Why should we treat each other with respect? I think all white males deserve to have their voice heard. We are the minority. We are under-represented on this campus and on this earth,” said fifth-year finance major Josh Williams, before snorting another line of cocaine, and calling his dad to add money to his bank account for alcohol.  “We need a hate space so I can speak my truths.”

Students began to leave, and petition the Student Government Board for agreeing to aid in the funding of this speaker. Many brought signs to hold up during the speech, some of which read:

“I feel unsafe.”
“I have a friend who has everything he needs in life, and he’s still unhappy.”
“Women and children don’t matter.”

Ryan Campbell finished with a bravado as he left the speech to enter the hate space,
“I feel unsafe in the space that calls to action understanding differences in race and culture, and appreciating those differences. I demand cultural appropriation.”

The hate space provides a place for students to promote negative energy and thoughts. Students there started a podcast called “The Hating Hour” where they talk about some of their favorite fascist figures. You can find it somewhere on a dark subpage of reddit.

When Pittiful News reached out to SGB asking why they agreed to fund Miannopolous, they responded with “no comment.”

For more updates, follow the Pittiful News on Twitter: @PittifulNews

Lifestyle 011: Party Ideas

By Megan Klein

 It’s almost the end of the semester, and instead of going out like you said you would last weekend, or the weekend before, or the weekend before that when you continuously drank yourself into a stupor, before you fashioned a kiddie pool for yourself, and proceeded to sit in it all night, claiming it was a “pool party,” then threw all of your ramen in for “wet noodles” while watching Mary Poppins on the laptop you eventually drowned as you flooded your bathroom, much to the dismay of your roommates saying, “Not again, Big Joey,” and “Please change your ring tone to something other than Selena Gomez. It’s embarrassing.” If that’s the case, spice things up a little bit with some alternative party ideas!

  1. Peasant Party- Also known as Proletarians vs. Peasants. Everyone dresses up as realistic characters from the French Revolution, and litter the dirty streets of South Oakland. Play the Les Miserables soundtrack on repeat throughout the night, and drink sewer water! For a rad time, the peasants become imprisoned, and in a drunken stupor everyone shouts the lyrics to “Do You Hear the People Sing.” Rats run amuck, and people bathe in trash before starting upheavals and brawls.
  2. Stanford Prison Experiment- Relive the famous Stanford Prison Experiment. Police officers arrest prisoners in the middle of the night, and in a fun twist, the guards abuse the prisoners into psychological submission to the point where it is no longer an experiment.
  3. Murder Mystery Party- Exactly like Clue, but real! Everyone gets drunk, and has to cover up a murder! Was it James in the bathroom with the cocaine and razor? Or was it Lexi in the living room with the broken alcohol bottle?
  4. Zodiac killer party- Based on the life of Ted Cruz, everyone wears those “hip” 70’s style serial killer glasses so no one has to conceal their true nature any longer. You’re all a bunch of serial killers, and in an impulsive moment find your latest victims while playing some sweet tunes. Playlist can include: “Mr. Sandman”, you know, that classic song everyone gets murdered to in movies, and now real life!
  5. The Most Dangerous Game- A party for sociopaths! Let loose, literally, let your guests loose, as they run around your woods while you chase them for several days. Happy Hunting!

For more fun party ideas and lifestyle tips and tricks, follow the Pittiful News on Twitter @PittifulNews.