By Tyler Sikov
Do you feel like your cat is not contributing enough to the household? Well, here are some ways to make them earn their keep:
- Letter opener – they have sharp claws, might as well use them
- Loofah – watch out for the prickly points
- Towel – it is recommended that you not use the same cat as your cat-loofah
- Pedicures – their tongues make great exfoliants
- Masseuse – they will kneed you into oblivion
- Pillow – they are just so soft and will lull you to sleep with their purring
- Portable heater – they generate their own heat and are great at sharing it, this can help reduce your heat bill
- Therapist – you can talk to them for hours and they will listen, they have big ears to prove they are good listeners
- Instagram Model – Step 1: take pictures of your cat, Step 2: post them online, Step 3: profit
The Pitiful News 