too many goddamn twins

By Lord Tyler Sikov

Cat Penguin
Walrus Deer
Human Centipede
Cow Chinchilla
Falcon Dog
Bat Man
Robin
Bobcat Robert DeNiro
Hippocampus
Pegasus
Cat Deer
Racoon Monkey
Blobfish Slug
Cat Snail
Turtle Rabbit
Tortoise Hare
Pile of mashed potatoes Horse
Dog Mollusk
Steve Buscemi Bird
My cousin’s hamster and Me (Lord Tyler)
- Melanie, I don’t like how we left things, please take me back and have my kids
Bull Dog
Cougar Wife
Baby Thief
Mouse Giraffe
Remy the Rat the Duck
Winnie the Pooh and Tigger
Eeyore and any teen with depression
- This one will be short lived
Playboy Bunny
Deer Whore
Cat Girl (Chipotle)
Dog Frog
- On a Log, in a Bog, in the Fog
Cat Fox
Cat Dog
Courage the cowardly Chicken
Mickey Cat and Minnie Cat
Mini Cats
Honestly anything with a cat, cats are so cute, and they smell nice
Fox Girl
Snake Lady
Turkey Horse
Bunny Bee

By: Shannon Kelly

I’ve only taken two psychology classes in my 16 years of education. However, every time I take a psych course,my professors will bring up, I don’t know, 127 studies where the researchers find twins that grew up separate from one another so the researchers can see if their genes or their upbringing influenced a personality trait. And I’m here just kind of wondering where they all are and how are these studies finding these twins?

For example, do the studies find already reunited twins? That means they just put up flyers that say “Have you recently been reunited with a long-lost twin?” Like, how many bites do they get from those flyers?

The researchers could also be finding the separated twins on their own and then deliberately keeping them separated from one another during the testing. That’s fucked for sure. No doubt, no doubt.

On the other hand, there could just be like seven pairs of twins that are constantly being experimented on. In that case, should we not be concerned about how all this testing is affecting their personality? Like what if all of these questions and psychological treatments are messing them up? And we’re over here studying that being angry is related to your genes when, in actuality, it is just those pesky labcoats bugging the twins, keeping them locked in a room, answering a billion questions a day.

If anyone has any information about this process, please email me or something. Thanks.