Girlfriend in Face Mask Mistaken by Local Man as “Ready to Have Shrex”

By Holly Stavarski

Cleveland, OH Earlier this month, one couple’s romantic night in was interrupted by a huge misunderstanding. It was Valentine’s Day and Alison Bealer had told her boyfriend, Jackson Walsh that she did not want to do anything special.
“For the past seven years we have done something fun and extravagant and I just wanted a relaxing night in with my love,” said Alison.
They ordered Chinese and cuddled up on the couch to watch the 2011 cinematic classic “Dolphin Tale.” After a soothing back rub from Jackson, Alison decided to try a new facial treatment and take a warm bath. Unfortunately, Jackson did not know about this plan. He saw Alison applying her green face mask and immediately ran into the bedroom. When Alison entered the room looking for her robe, she saw Jackson sprawled across the bed in the Shrek costume that he had worn for Halloween for the past five years, with his erect penis out.
“I screamed and ran out of the room,” Alison recalls, “I was terrified! Even more so when he ran after me and started yelling ‘DONKEY!’”

Jackson, a devout fan of the Shrek franchise, thought that his girlfriend was going to make the most romantic gesture since anal, and fulfill his Shrexual fantasies.
“I have had complicated feelings about Shrek since I was a child and it was only recently that I have come to terms with my shrexuality. I confided in Alison and I thought she was cool with it–until last night,” Jackson said.
“I was caught off guard,” said Alison. “I was expecting a very low-key night. I did NOT expect to see an aroused Shrek in my bed, nor did I expect to let him into my swamp.”
Jackson is unsure about how he will go about proposing the scenario again.
“I want to talk to her about it, because her reaction felt like a bullet that went through all my layers, but I’m pretty sure its all ogre now.”
Alison confided that she would be okay with trying it again, but it will take some time, and for Jackson to stop saying Shrek puns.