By the Writers of The Pittiful News
- Gnomeo and Juliet – Just as romantic as the original but with lawn gnomes! And they don’t die at the end! The old people fall in love at the end! I’ve seen it like 4 times and I don’t really remember anything else, but there’s a sequel!
- Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel – He gets married in the movie, after proposing like 3 times.
- Coraline – Buttons? Push my buttons 😉
- Gattaca – If you don’t believe love exists, then why did Jerome throw himself into the incinerator so that Vincent could go into space? Also it’s produced by Danny Devito, the sexiest man alive.
- The Tea is Consent video – Consent is sexy!
- The Bee Movie – Every time watch I watch it, something gets faster. And every time we kiss I swear I can fly.
- The Cabinet of Dr Caligari – There’s a woman in there, I think?
- Sonic the Hedgehog – It comes out on Valentine’s Day. Your date doesn’t need to know that you’ll never love them as much as you love Sonic.
- Brother Bear – Just a good underrated movie, no romantic elements.
The Pitiful News 