‘Visitors to the Cathedral of Learning’ starter pack

By Sir Craig Giàrç Streatt (guest contributor)

Cathy visitor starter

  1. Bags of University Store (or The Pitt Shop) merchandise
  2. Might already be wearing Pittsburgh merch (Pitt, Panthers, Steelers, Pens, Pirates)
  3. “U of Pitt” and “U Pitt”
  4. Fanny packs and maybe also sunhats
  5. “Apparently there’s a Chik-fil-A here,” they said, walking towards Cathedral Café.
  6. Enunciating their order at Cathedral Coffee
  7. Asking for a Frappuccino at Cathedral Coffee, as if it’s a freaking Starbucks 
  8. “Where’s the Chik-fil-A?”
  9. Struggling with the elevators
  10. Pictures by the wooden chair in Commons
  11. Pictures in front by the fountain (seasonal)
  12. Pictures near that plaque that says ‘Historical Landmark’
  13. Pictures from the second and third floors (for that #Hogwarts view)
  14. “Excuse me, where’s the bathroom?”
  15. Opening doors in the middle of classes, bonus points if it’s a Nationality Room
  16. “Which floor is the honors floor?”

Smells Around Campus: Pitt

By Holly Stavarski

Each place in the world has a unique scent. Here at The Pittiful News, resident sniffer Holly Stavarski has walked around campus with nose wide open to capture the familiar scents of education and desperation that exist in the academic buildings of the University of Pittsburgh.

1. Bellefield – Dusty ballerinas 

2. Benedum – Burnt bagels and sweaty nerds
3. Cathedral – Musty books and the hot breath of someone walking up three flights of stairs 
4. Chevron – Ammonia and a moldy terrarium
5. David Lawrence – Wood chips and 200 spilled Naked Juices
6. Hillman – Stale Cheetos, cheap alcohol, and warm paper
7. Posvar – Asbestos and Panoptic powers of social control
8. Scaife – Sickly clean hospital and stress farts
9. Sennott –  Panera Bread and awkward tinder dates
10. Towers Lobby – Britney Spear’s Fantasy, Axe, and regret
11. Trees – Chlorine, Sweat, and a wrestler’s vomit
12.Victoria – New Lululemon yoga pants and Starbucks coffee

13. WPU – Fried chicken and petty Student Government scandals