cars

By Zach Hartman

Start by setting up a false identity as the son of a new car salesman. Use it to trick the hosts of a popular web show into running a sweepstakes, where they’ll give away a new car which your father will provide to the first contestant who answers a riddle correctly. Enter the sweepstakes as your real identity and win, since unbeknownst to them, you set up the whole thing and already know the right answer. The horse’s name was Friday!

Now the hosts of the web show will be forced to buy you a car, since they won’t actually have one because the sweepstakes was fake. The LCC will have to shut down their website for false advertising (which was your real motive all along since they’re your arch-nemeses and it’s been your lifetime dream to get their show off the web ever since the one host rejected you). But! Luckily for them, the web show star’s brother is a fan of Galaxy Wars and happens to have just purchased a Proton Cruiser (which he was disappointed to find is actually a replica). They can solve both of their problems and combine the two stories brilliantly by giving you the Proton Cruiser!

It is technically a “new car” after all, having never been state-registered before, and it’s able to travel under its own power at a speed of 25 miles per hour. And there you go, you’ve successfully scammed some high-schoolers out of a Proton Cruiser replica!