Other rules that Pitt is loosening along with the Mask Mandates

By the writers of the Pittiful News (Finally, we can write it like normal people)

• Clubs and organization are now allowed to have Pitt in their names
  • Yay us! 
• Pets are now officially allowed on the grassy areas in the quad 
• Pepper spray is allowed regardless of circumstance. Let it rip!!
• You CAN spray hairspray at a lit bunsen burner in Chevron
• Litter boxes will be put back in the Hillman study rooms for all of our FurryCon friends 
• Smoke-free zones are a thing of the past! Smoke indoors, outdoors, wherever you want   
• You can dognap the STEP trainees
• You can catnap in those cozy little nooks in Cathy
• You can FODMAP in the Eatery
• It is now allowed to ruin all of the rare books in the library with lemon juice and a blow dryer in an attempt to uncover a map that will lead you to the declaration of independence–which is buried underneath the WPU Oval
• It is now permissible to stand under the lab safety showers “just to feel something”
• Triple murder
  • If you kill 2 people just kill a third and you’re all good
• You can pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars
  • I could really use a wish right now
    • Wish right now
    • Wish right now (2)
• Making triple murder illegal again 
• There will no longer be fire alarms in the buildings  
• You no longer have to wear pants inside academic buildings
• The most annoying couples ever can take their wedding pictures in Cathy again