An Incomplete List of Things to add to your Cereal

By Tyler Sikov and Sonya Acharya

 

1. Water
2. Orange juice
3. Straight vodka
4. The concept of time
5. Every banger on the soundtrack of Shrek (2001)
6. Your dog
7. AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH (a loud scream)
8. Sap
9. Pasta water
10. The Cranberries
11. A flight of craft beers from your nearest and most hipsterest craft brewery
12. My dog
13. Pepsi (Coke is Not OK)
14. Bone hurting juice
15. Blood
16. A quad espresso and a large Red Bull
17. The bible
18. Maple syrup
19. Candy corn
20. Gasoline
21. My friend Terri
22. Almond milk, coconut milk, cashew milk, macadamia milk, and other nut milks
23. Whole strawberries, like they do on the front of the box
    1. Wait this doesn’t taste good, who thought of this
24. Barber Shop 2
25. A collection of small toy soldiers who you are almost certain are planning an uprising against you
26. Your Mom, cause she’s a snack
27. A 3-D printed Save symbol, a.k.a. A floppy disc
    1. Wait, do kids still remember those?
       1. No, no they do not.
28. Little tiny knives, to make breakfast more exciting
29. A horcrux
30. Salsa