Things to do while yelling “It’s FALL!!”

By Sonya Acharya

Throw leaves, preferably orange, preferably crunchy
Use a shovel to throw brown wet leaves because autumn rain is a thing
Run through a pumpkin patch
Try to look cute for your seasonal Insta story update when you trip over a pumpkin in said patch
Caption it “Pumpkins or Punkins?” and thank me later
Sip a pumpkin spice latte
Chug that pumpkin-spicy goodness
Go apple picking
Pour scalding cider down your throat. Feel your throat blister
Bake some seasonal goodies
Make a blanket fort, crawl into it, and binge said goodies and some Netflix of your choice
Rip off your tank top to reveal a turtleneck underneath
Move those skeletons from your closet to your front porch (the freezer skeletons can stay till later)
Drape a woolen infinity scarf over your entire body
Pile all your scarves on your bed and burrow into them because you live here now
Drape a white sheet over yourself in order to become a Spook™
Check your boots for spooks before wearing them even though it’s eighty degrees outside
Start up an increasingly-loud chant of “This is Halloween!”
Yell “It’s FALL!!!” even louder
Make crinkly noises with the candy wrappers in your pockets