Your Roommate Probably Hates Your Friends

Do you ever get the impression that your roommate hates it when you have your friends over? Do you feel that they just might not understand how you put up with those people? Well here’s some possible reasons why. Your roommate might hate your friends if…

  • They ask them the questions about the weird stuff on their desk that you’ve been polite enough not to ask
  • They’re the people who are at Market to Go at two AM
  • They hide under your bed and sleep there
  • They talk to you in another language so your roommate has no idea what you’re saying and as far as they know you could be making fun of them
  • They’re furries and they’ve just gotta make sure everyone knows about it
  • They correct you whenever you call a trebuchet a catapult
  • They play their Japanese music games at full volume
  • They decorate their room with memes that will be dead in a few days, and encourage you to do the same
  • They’ve spent a significant portion of their lives trying to figure out the words to Gwen Stefani’s The Sweet Escape other than “refrigerator”
  • There’s that one character that they like just a little too much…
  • They’re bio majors who are trying to create plants that can feel pain because of that one time a worker at the vegan section of Market was rude to them
  • They think reminding people that Bee Movie exists is funny
  • They like to pretend to be the floor
  • They constantly brag about how they take the Chevron stairs to upper campus and how it’s “good for your buns and thighs” (that one’s me, sorry)
  • They’re always complaining about the asbestos discovered where they live in Holland Hall
  • They hide under your roommate’s bed and sleep there
  • They talk about a really hard class in their major as if anyone else knows what the hell they’re saying
  • Whenever you quote from Spongebob, they start reciting the whole scene (also me, sorry)

By Blair Kriz

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