Fox News

By Dan Smith

Fall is in full swing now, and you know what that means. The temperature is dropping, the trees are shedding, and the rabbits are disappearing. Yep, you heard that right. The rabbits are dwindling, and fast. We don’t know why, but they are becoming increasingly difficult to track down and capture, which could pose severe difficulties for foxes everywhere trying to feed their pups throughout the winter months.

As shown by this graph, rabbit populations are plummeting at an alarming rate. Scientists everywhere are collecting and analyzing data to help counteract this recent epidemic. Despite the recent drops in rabbit populations, we foxes still have to make ends meet. We at the Pittiful News have put together a list of suggestions to help ordinary folk like you stay ahead of the pack throughout these coming winter months.

Instead of rabbits, explore some alternative options to expand your diet this winter! We suggest looking for lizards, frogs, birds, various vegetables or fruits, other small mammals, leftover bags of french fries or unattended human babies to keep you and your pups nourished. Even with these other food options, it may be difficult to make ends meet. If you’re out of food, remember, it’s survival of the fittest out there, and you can always have another litter! We’re not saying, “eat your pups,” but you gotta look out for number one.

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