Carnegie Museum of Natural History has announced a new semester-long internship program called the Dippy Design Team. Four interns will be in charge of dressing Dippy, our favorite neighborhood diplodocus statue. Mandatory training includes attendance at the annual Dinosaur Fashion Week in Wyoming, where dinosaur designers from all over the world will congregate to put on Jurassic fashion shows.
Dippy has expressed excitement regarding this wardrobe upgrade. When asked about the new program, she responded, “RAAAAA WAAAA TRAAAAAAAAAMAAAAAAAAA.” Louisa Tremont, Carnegie Museum’s resident diplodocus translator, deciphered these utterances as, “Finally, somebody noticed that I’m not an uncultured swine. Logos of the Steelers and local colleges are so boring. I want more. I want Dior, Chanel, Jimmy Choo, Bioré, Camembert, Eau de Toilette, Dijon Mustard. Get me Elizabeth James, that character in The Parent Trap (1998) who designs wedding dresses.” After returning from Dinosaur Fashion Week, the interns will report back to Dippy with drawings of outfits before getting to work on cutting and stitching their material. Dippy will have the final say in what she wears and is not afraid to use her veto power. Applications are now open for the spring internship. Qualified applicants should have a strong sense of current fashion trends, written and oral communication skills, as well as a working knowledge of Microsoft Office, QuickBooks, and Kid Pix Deluxe 3. Applicants who have a taste for sardines are preferred. Must be able to use a ladder. Interns will be compensated in library cards that work at all of the 19 branches of the Carnegie Library. Those who are interested in applying should send their résumés to pittifulnews@gmail.com.
The Pitiful News 
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