Artist on the Rise: Crying Baby in Audience Absolutely Thrilled to Play Carnegie Hall

Artists dream of an opportunity to perform at the illustrious Carnegie Hall, but after learning that his mom and dad planned to bring him along to a Boston Symphony event in the renowned auditorium, local baby, Ian Wilt, knew all of his vocal training was building to this one evening. When asked what kind of repertoire he had prepared, Ian noted “Now, I don’t want to provide too many spoilers, but I can say this: that when the stage is quietest in between movements of Schubert’s divine ‘Unfinished Symphony,’ I promise to fill the venue with blubbering that hits the audience so hard, some will be moved to weeping themselves.”

Such a tease to his fans, but such a master of his vocal creations, Ian Wilt scoffed at critics who claim that his crying is derivative – a hodgepodge of half-baked whimpering stolen from the likes of toddler virtuoso and frequent church sermon interrupter, T.J. Redgewick, and avant-garde sniffle-crier known only by his stage name, “Snot Joplin.” Wilt addressed critical slams, “Look, you can either try to fit my whimsical wailing into some creative jail cell, or you can respect me as an artist and trust in my ability to navigate a sea of consummate criers with my own unique voice. I’m sick of hearing these comparisons. We all know Snot Joplin hasn’t done a damn thing since breaking the silence at the junior league golf tournament and I hear he took that gig just so he could look at the shiny golf clubs. Have I been tempted by shiny things? You bet. Have I been offered by agents to perform at back-water clubs in exchange for getting to play with a glossy roll of aluminum foil? Of course, but you do not sell out like that.”

During the interview, Wilt was determined to separate himself from the mainstream crying crowd and paid no mind to the lengths he must crawl in order to break out in a league of his own. “You think shushing scares me? I’ve taken heckles like that. A bunch of adults in front of me think the crap that gets played in concert halls is better than me screaming because I dropped by binky all while slobbering on my mom’s shoulder like a professional should. I’m giving them a free, skilled performance and they need to respect my artistic voice.”

Despite the frustration Ian Wilt wrestles with even today in dealing with so many ignorant audience members unaware of his creative merit, Ian did let on a bit more about what we all can expect from his Carnegie performance. In a last minute statement, Ian revealed “Get ready for an encore of several sniffles and an adorable sneeze followed by another round of harsh wailing because that sneeze was loud and scary.”

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