Santa Letter of the Week!

Dear Santa,

It’s Jimmy here, writing my annual letter. I think I’ve been a good boy this year, except for that time I broke mom’s vase and blamed Christy. How are things at the North Pole? I hope you’ve had a good year. Oh wait, JUST KIDDING. I hope your year has been terrible. I hope your beard caught on fire. I hope eating all those cookies finally gave you diabetes. I hope Mrs. Claus didn’t let you touch her all year.  

I hope you get indicted for all that slave labor you exploit. I hope Rudolph gets rabies and bites you in the face. Do you know why, Santa? Because you are TERRIBLE. You are so BAD at your job. Last year I asked for the Lionel Limited Edition Historic Series Transit Train Set and instead you got me the Union Pacific Anniversary Passenger Set. Any idiot with half a brain could have gotten that right. Maybe it’s time for you to retire…to HELL. Eat shit and die, Santa.
But if you do decide to do your job this year, I would like an iPod shuffle so I can listen to the Wiggles soundtrack in the car.


***A BIG THANK YOU goes out to little Jimmy and
his mom for submitting his letter to the Macy’s Santa Drop.
Each week, a letter is picked atrandom and published in the paper. 
Don’t forget to drop off your little tot’s Letter to Santa
for your chance to be published in The Pittiful News!

By Hannah Lynn

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